The mallu facts:-

(An unoffensive jest – With all due respect to the South Indian Community)

1) What is the tax on a Mallu’s income called?
    IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
    In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
    He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
    To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
    To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
    He zimbly jembd oud of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
    MOON – Yem Woh, yet yanother Woh and Yen.
 

8) What is a Malayali management graduate called?
    Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
    He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
      An Oto.

11) Where does he pray?
      In a Temble, Charch or a Maask.

12) Who is Bruce Lee’s best friend?
      A Malaya-Lee of goarse.

13) Name the yonly part of the werld, where Malayalis don’t werk hard?
      Kerala.

Sharing what I found somewhere

THE NEW JOB-LINGO

“JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY”: We have no time to train you.

“CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE”: We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

“MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED”: You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

“SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED”: Some time each night and some time each weekend.

“DUTIES WILL VARY”: Anyone in the office can boss you around.

“MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL”: We have no quality control.

SOME MORE INTELLECT

The first thing to know about a survival situation. Is not get into a survival situation.
——– D. Guthrie

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.
——– Jackie Gleason

I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
——– Carol Leifer

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
——– Rita Rudner

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
——– Fred Allen

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
——- Johnny Carson

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.
——- George Carlin

Don’t spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt; donate it to the salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger and next morning you can buy it back for seventy-five cents.
——- William Coronel

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

——- Anonymous

Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.

——- Anonymous

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

——- Anonymous

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

——- Anonymous

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

——- Anonymous

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

——- Anonymous

i souport publik edekasion.

——- Anonymous

WHY

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Hi, I found some of these somewhere and few were my own products!

  • Why is it that something comes to our head only after we’ve left the house?

  • Why is it that the queues are huge when we are in a hurry?

  • 99 % of bollywood movies are flops, still, why dancing around the trees is such an important theme?

  • Why do we crave for things that we can’t get?

  • Why it is that the only time you don’t feel like working is the time when you’re in the office?

  • As they carry purses and not wallets, do pants for girls have to either have no pockets or have tiny ones?

  • Why is it that nothing comes to your head when you want it the most, and then five minutes after that, you will go, “Oh yes!”

  • Why is it that wrong numbers are never busy?

  • Do Air Deccan flights leave on time, precisely on the day when your taxi gets late?

  • Why is the third hand on the clock called as the “second” hand?

  • Why do we mostly have single centric points of view?

  • Why is it that when you’re looking for an address while driving, you turn down the volume of the music?

  • Why is lemon juice made of artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

  • Why and what would the world be like, with no hypothetical situations?

  • Do telephone companies, banks, and everybody-else-running-a-business-for-me ensure that their agents and customer service people never say the same things?

  • Why do deaf people not wear earmuffs, if blind do wear dark glasses?

  • Why do bars have parking lots, if you can’t drink and drive?

  • Why do they call it “chilli” if it’s hot?

  • Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?

And lastly,

  • Why do ladies jeans have zips??