Sharing what I found somewhere

THE NEW JOB-LINGO

“JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY”: We have no time to train you.

“CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE”: We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

“MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED”: You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

“SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED”: Some time each night and some time each weekend.

“DUTIES WILL VARY”: Anyone in the office can boss you around.

“MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL”: We have no quality control.

SOME MORE INTELLECT

The first thing to know about a survival situation. Is not get into a survival situation.
——– D. Guthrie

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.
——– Jackie Gleason

I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
——– Carol Leifer

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
——– Rita Rudner

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
——– Fred Allen

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
——- Johnny Carson

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.
——- George Carlin

Don’t spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt; donate it to the salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger and next morning you can buy it back for seventy-five cents.
——- William Coronel

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

——- Anonymous

Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.

——- Anonymous

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

——- Anonymous

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

——- Anonymous

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

——- Anonymous

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

——- Anonymous

i souport publik edekasion.

——- Anonymous

3 Responses to “Sharing what I found somewhere”

  1. janetleigh Says:

    I laughed so hard over some of these, I thought I’d die of apoplexy! Here’s the 3 that completely done me in:

    “Don’t spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt….”
    “I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…:
    “Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.”

    Thanks so much for the thorough inner cleansing!
    I truly needed it.

  2. Viral Trivedi Says:

    Janet,

    I’m glad I navigated you through some laughter🙂

    Do stop by again, I’ld be more obliged!

  3. veronicaromm Says:

    Hello there. First I would like to thank you for your comment on my poem About a Friend, very well said. I am glad that people related to this one. I like your style and will be coming by to visit, please feel free to do the same.


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